Everything (beware)
Rejected for Hang Out
Come on, "I didn't need a whiny bitch like that anyway"? That's exactly what I wanted! What the hell is wrong with me?!!!!
I was rationalizing it at the time because I actually had no idea what happened. I didn't talk about it because maybe then, I'd discover it had been a dream and hadn't really happened at all, and that we could still be friends. At least I'd almost certainly forget about it, and I did, but inevitably it did come back.
Why did he change his mind? I still ask myself every day.
In case any of you don't know me very well (none of you do in fact, that is the point of this blog and the only reason I can be this open about things), I have some abnormal intimacy issues. I am 19, but I have never been in a genuine relationship. This person I am describing is a friend I've known for a couple years.
Do you see where I'm going with this? No? That's okay, it's a stretch. What if, he didn't want to hang out with me or anything because he also has some type of anxiety of that nature?
emily, shot dwelling on this
*stop
BUT GUYS, don't you see what I'm saying? Do you know how rare it is for other people to have the same thing I have? If I'm right (not saying I'm sure about this theory at all, but if I am), I need to know.
how are you going to find out trhis isn't exactly seem like an easy thing to investigate
Yeah, but come on, this guy is fucking badass! He is so cool! I can't let this go without knowing. I could never forgive myself. And if he's not like me, then any answer I get will probably mean he's some kind of a weird flake or liar, and that'll mean I can feel good about us not being friends anymore. Or, if he says something bad about me, I can legitimately be put off enough to let go. But putting himself down? Seems irrelevant, man.